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  • Writer's picturePublic Lands Hate You

Vapid Behavior Moves East to the Cherry Blossoms

***Originally posted 4/5/19 on @publiclandshateyou***

This post is for our east coast friends who might be feeling left out. Don’t worry! The next wave of vapid behavior is headed your way soon!

Pictures of people disrespecting the treasuredcherry trees of the National Mall in Washington DC are already starting to flood in. People climbing the trees, picking flowers, putting their cats in the trees (yeah, wtf?), and all sorts of other craziness. There are literally signs everywhere telling people what not to do, and people choose to do it anyways.

I put together this simple set of 10 rules that I think a 5-year old can understand and follow. .

1. Do not walk off the paved or marked trails. 2. Do not walk on the grass. 3. Do not walk on the tree roots. 4. Do not grab the tree branches 5. Do not pick the flowers 6. Do not eat the flowers 7. Do not climb the trees 8. Do not put your cat in the trees 9. Do not put your dog in the trees 10. Do not put your sponsored products in the trees

These pictures are just a few of the examples that I’ve been sent so far. Identifies have been obscured to protect the guilty. Except the cat. That cat is guilty AF and I DGAF! Someone find that cat!

If you want to climb on a cherry tree, I have a GREAT idea for you. Go to your local nursery. Buy a cherry tree, then dig a hole in your front yard and plant it. Then spend the next 40 years nurturing it, caring for it, and loving it. Then go climb it. Break as many branches as you want! Carve your name into the bark! Tug on those branches for the perfect IG shot! Oh, what? Too lazy to put in the work? Or maybe you put in the work and love that tree too much to chance wrecking it? THEN DON’T DO IT TO TREES THAT AREN’T YOURS!

And remember, education is the goal here. I personally do not engage in any kind of hateful or harassing speech and don’t expect any else to either. Don’t call people names. Don’t comment about their IQ. Don’t insult their mother(s). Be nice, educate, and try to have a productive conversation. And if that doesn’t work, there is always Plan B.

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